Our Christian Life
Questions Your
Pastor Hates to Hear
The Question:
The word is 2,000 years old—and older—but our faith lives in the here and now. And that’s the problem! In an effort to uncover the challenges of Our Christian Life, we
asked Bob Brown and Fred Hedt, two pastors with 30 years experience each to
answer this simple question: “When your study door opens or your phone rings and it’s a member of your congregation calling, what question do you really hope not to
hear?”
(Bob Brown is pastor of Coronado Community United Methodist Church, a
100-year-old Florida congregation with 2,000 members.)
“I can handle the usual theological, philosophical questions. Somehow I have the right training or personality to deal with the angst, the
soul-searching, the quest of the soul. What drives me crazy, leads me to the edge of quitting or hitting, are questions
like, ‘Preacher, why don’t we have more parking places?’ or ‘Why did you do away with our normal 11 o’clock service?’ or ‘Can’t we have a room set aside just for rummage sale storage/youth
activities/prayer/choir robes?’ Not the deep religious searching, just the nitty-natty nuisance of everyday life
in the church.
“On one level, many such questions arise out of the blinders people inevitably
wear. They see their area of concern, and often do not know of competing programs,
priorities, people. And they irritate me because, like most preachers, I have a
deep, almost pathological need to please everyone, and plainly that is not
going to be possible, so every such inquiry is an occasion for personal
failure. On a deeper level, these are indeed theological questions that go back to a
dozen dusty followers on the road to Jerusalem. ‘When will you set up the kingdom? Can I be first in line? Who is my neighbor? How can we pay for the bread? Where
will we have supper? Who would do such a thing!’ This thing called ‘church’ is still an experiment, a work in progress: how do we live together--with our
competing drives, desires, demands--as a family of the faithful? How do we live
in this world, with limited resources of money, time, buildings, patience,
wisdom, as though we were already in the realm of infinite possibilities?”
(Fred Hedt is pastor of Ascension Lutheran Church, a highly diverse Missouri
Synod congregation in Landover Hills, Maryland, near Washington D.C. Some 22
different native languages are represented among the church’s members.)
"Questions Your Pastor Hopes Never to Hear: that is hard to pin down because my
door is open to everyone and I hope I can meet everyone who comes through the
door on their own terms. The only way I can answer ‘what is a question I hope never to hear’ is that I don't like any question to which I am forced to say ‘no’. We're taught to be in service to people and want to do all we can -- and then
some -- to make people happy, so it's hard to have to turn people down. It happens on all kinds of levels.
“Last week a family that is a member of my church came in: they have dug a deep
financial hole for themselves and face a foreclosure on their house if they
don't come up with $6,500 by May 1 (obviously this problem did not pop up
overnight). They wanted to know if I could tap into one of the Church's savings accounts and
loan them $6,500. ‘No’. We do have that kind of money in savings, but they are all designated
accounts, money that was donated for specific ministry purposes. It wouldn't be
ethical (may not be legal) to divert them to other purposes. And I am not authorized to disperse funds anyway—it would have meant going to the Trustees and asking them to consider doing
something I knew they would not do. So ... ‘no’. I can't just dip into the till and loan you $6,500. I can put out an appeal that one of our families is in financial straights and
needs help (that appeal generated a love offering of $1,500). And I can help them consider other resources and sources of help. So I think they will weather the storm and keep their house. But I did have to say ‘no.’
“Not every answer can be ‘yes.’ Can you do my wedding? ‘Yes!’ Can our dog participate? ... ‘No.’ Can we help plan Aunt Martha's funeral? ‘Yes!’ Can Uncle Joe print in the bulletin the reason he's not coming to the funeral
is that the (evil woman) ruined his life? ‘No.’ Can you open the General Assembly with prayer? ‘Yes!’ Can you make the prayer non-proselytizing? ‘Yes!’ Eliminate the name of Jesus altogether? ... ‘No!’
“I guess my big fear is that Lutherans (especially us of the Missouri variety)
have made ourselves look so intolerant that I'm afraid anytime I legitimately
have to say ‘no’ it might be received as evidence that deep down inside, Missouri Synod
Lutherans just don't like anybody. So I hate any question that forces me to say
‘no’. But I don't dodge them. For instance, a guy was in my office about two weeks
ago. He's being audited by the IRS and seems to be in deep (trouble). Could I help him out by giving him a statement that he made a $5,000 cash
donation to the Church? He asks this with a straight face as though it were a reasonable request. ‘No!’”
(We’d like to hear from other pastors on the challenges of their ministries and “Our Christian Life”. Just click “contact us” on our home page and leave your name, phone number or e-mail address, or answer
our query on questions Pastors hate to hear.)
All content Copyright © Gary Broughman, 2007
